


Careless Whisper

by xRabbitx



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Humor, It's just a silly little fic, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Valentine's Day Fluff, With Fluff On Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9727085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xRabbitx/pseuds/xRabbitx
Summary: Roadhog has betrayed Jamie and cut him out of a heist. Jamie is poised to take his revenge, but something's not right...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!
> 
> This plot for this ficlet was more or less entirely stolen from [this post](http://latinxjunkrat.tumblr.com/post/157150050259/roadhog-plans-and-elaborate-hiest-but-is-iffy-on), so it's dedicated to Anon and zxid ^^

*

 

            ”Come on, come on, come _on_ , I hate waiting,” Jamie mutters to himself as he paces back and forth. It’s been five minutes already, but Hog told him to wait at least 20 before coming to help. Jamie has no idea why Hog was so adamant about doing this on his own, even the planning and detailing, which is usually Jamie’s job, and Hog refused to tell Jamie why no matter how much Jamie pestered him about it. The heist isn’t even of a bank or reserve like they usually knock over. From what Jamie can see from his hiding spot outside, it’s some kind of mall, and Jamie had no idea what could possibly be worth stealing inside it. He tries to read the names of the shops on the billboard outside, but he has been neglecting his reading practice lately, and he only manages to sound out a couple of syllables of the first name before he gives up in frustration. It’s probably something stupid anyway. Jamie huffs and pulls out the binoculars to watch the entrance to the building. It’s illuminated in bright, white light, but there are no people coming in or out of the big glass doors. The mall is probably closed—what is it, maybe 10 in the evening? Jamie groans and tosses the binoculars like a mopey kid; he doesn’t like to miss out on fun, and he dislikes feeling left out even more. Why doesn’t Hog want him along? What could he be doing that Jamie couldn’t help him with? What could possibly so important that Jamie isn’t allowed to know about it?

            “Fuck,” Jamie grunts and sniffs. His mood has changed from impatient and excited to irritated, and now to hurt and unsure of himself, which is his least favorite emotion. At least when he’s angry, he feels invigorated and ready for action. When he’s hurt, he feels paralyzed and useless. Weren’t they partners, Hog and him? Weren’t they supposed to split everything fifty-fifty? That had been their agreement, and Jamie had actually thought Hog would honor it. He had trusted Hog to honor it, and given how their partnership had developed over the last year or so, Jamie’s trust in Hog had only grown deeper and stronger.

            Jamie huffs and spits on the ground between his foot and peg. He would rather be dead than sit here and feel sorry for himself because someone—yet another person he thought he was close to—had disappointed him. So he pushed himself up and looks at the big clock face on the side of the building. It’s been 10 minutes now, but Jamie doesn’t give a fuck. If Hog won’t willingly give Jamie his rightful share of whatever is inside that building, Jamie is going to take it by force. Sure, Hog is bigger and stronger than him, but Jamie knows Hog well enough to know all his weaknesses by now. He had never thought he would use that knowledge, but Hog is basically forcing his hand…

            With his grenade launcher at the ready, Jamie stalks out from the hiding spot and marches up to the entrance of the building. He’s ready for anything, but nothing happens. The air is chilly and the only sound he can hear is a distant car alarm. Jamie hesitates for a second as he reaches the massive glass doors. He has never liked glass—it feels cold and weird to touch, and it can kill you when it shatters. Glass was never really a concern in the Outback, but it’s everywhere here. It makes him feel exposed and vulnerable—another two of his least favorite feelings. But Jamie isn’t about to chicken out now, and he pushes hard at the smooth, unyielding surface, and the door slides open with a soft _wushhhh_. Jamie steps inside and the door glides shut behind him like an airlock, and in that second, everything is quiet. The car alarm, the breeze rustling the leaves… everything’s gone dead quiet. Jamie swallows and takes a step from the ripples rubber mat in front of the door and onto the faux marble floor. Nothing. No guards, no sound of shooting or running feet. Jamie takes another step down the brightly illuminated hall, and the only sound that echoes off the polished walls in the _clack_ of his peg hitting the floor.

            There’s no sign of Hog anywhere. All the store fronts of dark and empty, and the dead-faced mannequins follow Jamie with their lifeless eyes, making every single hair on Jamie’s body rise. He feels a lot less brave by the time he reaches the excessive (but shut off) fountain at the end of the hall. It’s in the middle of a large open space where Jamie can see all the floors above him. There are at least three more floors, and they’re all connected by bridges and escalators, and it’s making Jamie a little dizzy trying to follow the all with his eyes. It doesn’t matter than much, though, because Jamie is suddenly busy with other things. He yelps in surprise and leaps several feet into the air when water suddenly spouts from the top of the fountain with a loud splash. At the same time, invisible speakers start blasting out music. Jamie has sent at least three grenades to different directions before he realizes that he’s apparently not under attack (yet). Nothing but the water and the music has happened, and Jamie is pretty sure he must have just fallen asleep in the hiding spot, because surely he must be dreaming.

            “Hog?” he calls out over the music and splash of the water, but there’s no reply. It’s not until then that Jamie realizes that he recognizes the song. He can’t remember what it’s called, but there’s a bit with a saxophone that sounds very familiar.

            “What the fuck?” Jamie breathes, looking around as if an answer might materialize out of thin air. And to his astonishment, it actually does. Well, it was probably there all along, but Jamie just hasn’t noticed it by now. There’s a post-it not stuck to the bench next to the fountain. It says, “Follow the roses”, and there’s a big, smudged thumb print on the back, and Jamie instantly recognizes it as Hog’s.

            “Roses? What bloody ro—?” Jamie spots the roses, or rather the rose petals, mid-sentence. They’re on the other side of the fountain, strewn over the floor and leading away from where Jamie is and around a corner. Jamie isn’t entirely sure this isn’t some kind of trap, but the message from Hog had instantly made him feel a bit safer, although he still has no clue what’s going on.

 

_I'm never gonna dance again_

_Guilty feet have got no rhythm…_

 

Jamie follows the roses as instructed. It takes him around the corner and down another corridor. The music is still blaring (the song is on repeat apparently) as he walks. Had this been any other occasion, Jamie might have stopped to gaze at—and probably eventually steal—the many things on display in the closed shops. He doesn’t even know what half of the things are or how to use them, but they look expensive and shiny. But Jamie is much too curious to know what the hell is going on to go window shopping now.

 

_Time can never mend_

_The careless whispers of a good friend_

_To the heart and mind…_

 

It’s when Jamie turns another corner that he finally sees Hog. Hog is standing under a large yellow sign that says _Wetzel’s Pretzels_ , but Jamie doesn’t know what that means. He doesn’t care either, because Hog doesn’t look like himself. He has taken off his mask and his harness. Instead he’s wearing a t-shirt that’s just a little too small for him, and on its front there’s a print of the front of a suit, white shirt and bow tie and everything. Hog must have noticed Jamie staring at his shirt, because he shrugs and says, “Couldn’t find a suit that fit.”

            “What…?” Jamie blinks at Hog, trying to take it all in—hadn’t Hog betrayed him just a few minutes ago? Wasn’t this supposed to be a heist? “What the bloody fuck is going on?”

            “Wanted to surprise you,” Hog says, and he walks up to Jamie, pulls the grenade launcher out of his hand and kisses him right on the lips. Jamie is too stunned to kiss back, but some of the tension does seep out of his muscles when Hog’s big, warm arms curl around his waist.

            “But—the heist? What happened to the heist?” Jamie asks dumbly once Hog pulls out of the kiss.

            “There’s never been a heist,” Hog explains with a rumbling chuckle. “It’s Valentine’s Day today. I figured you’d never celebrated it, so I wanted to surprise you.”

            “Oh.” Jamie blinks up at Hog, and then he feels it; the hot, bulging, explosive warmth that spills out from his chest and surges through his body, making every corner of his body tingle—even the fingers and toes he doesn’t have any more tingle. A wide, bright smile spreads on Jamie’s lips, and he curls himself around Hog’s neck in a tight hug.

            “Well, color me fucking surprised, mate.”

            Hog laughs, deep and warm, making his belly and Jamie bounce. Then he leads Jamie over to the table he’s set up. It looks like Hog has taken one of the shitty plastic tables from the shop and covered it in a red sheet from the Bed Bath & Beyond across the hall. On the table there are two lit candles and two paper plates with some really strange-looking food on it. It looks like miniature hotdogs, and Jamie looks up at Hog with a puzzled look.

            “Hotdogs? But I thought—“

            “Beef, not pork.” Hog positively beams at him.

            The small hotdogs are some of the best food Jamie has ever had; not because it’s quality food—in fact, Jamie is pretty sure it’s crap food—but because he’s eating it at a romantic dinner table with live candles and Hog holding his flesh hand. Once they’re done eating, Hog takes Jamie a floor up and shows him the arcade. It has been ages since Jamie was last in an arcade (last time was in Japan, and they didn’t really have time to play anything seeing as they were robbing the place), and it only takes him a few minutes to find a way to short-circuit the machines so they get infinite games. After Hog’s fifth and pretty surprising _Dance Dance Revolution_ win in a row, they leave the arcade to raid a candy shop and settle down in display room in a TV shop. Hog shows Jamie some ancient movie about forbidden dance steps, and Jamie laughs, cries, yells at the massive TV screen while Hog’s head rests heavy in his lap and Jamie’s idle fingers thread through his thick, grey hair. Even though Jamie has never celebrated Valentine’s Day before, it has been the best Valentine’s Day ever, and he’s pretty sure nothing will ever top it.

            “Hey, Hogs,” Jamie says while the credits roll over the screen, and he looks down at Hog’s face with a wide smile.

            “Hm?” Hog opens his eyes and looks back.

            “Love you, you big lug.”

            “I love you, too, Jamison.”

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it!
> 
> If you'd like to follow my other fic adventures, you can do so on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/drrtyrabbit) or [Tumblr](https://rabbitvswonderland.tumblr.com/)!


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